pitched verbal comm

Enough is Enough!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Life.

It's confusing, mind-bogling, puzzling and...more confusing.

There are days when I felt like dropping all my subjects and just start making films or music.

I can't stand doing homework and doing revisions, it just bores the crap out of me.

I'm not only humming First Suite in E Flat, I'm singing songs to entertain myself(David Cook, anyone?)

I find myself dreaming and conjuring pieces of an action film. Example, some sniper from a HDB Block is trying to assasinate me but he misses. So I'm hiding behind a wall and suddenly the whole chunk of concrete gets pulled out and reveals my location. I stand up slowly, looking out into the open space while the camera zooms out.

I still remembered I was going to sleep when I had "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" Beatles song stuck in my head while the image that I had unconciously imagined was the most trippiest image I ever had. I was not taking drugs, man!

So now, I'm waiting for the day I could stack up all my unwanted books like a beacon and burn them all together.

To another topic, shall I?

Feeling so unimportant right now.

It doesn't matter if I talk or not.

If I try to joke, people says I'm lame and I suck at jokes.

If I don't say anything, people think I'm awfully quiet and boring.

If I say something serious, people think I'm no fun.

So what's it gonna be?

And now, I feel that I'm not pleasing EVERYONE.

But it's not about pleasing, it's about socialising.

So I'm a bad socialiser, I can't fucking keep up with the conversations.

Can't fucking entertain someone by my own for an hour.

Can't even make people think I'm a fun, lovable asshole.

Always stuttering my words because they can't flow out smoothly from my brain to my mouth.

So, am I a joke created by Gods?

Am I a goddamn comedy television channel to let Them watch me at how feeble and pathetic my attempts are at interacting with beings?

If I am, then fuck you Gods. Seriously, fuck you all to hell.

How do I be myself, when I don't even know who I really am anymore?