pitched verbal comm

Epiphany

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

So here's the deal. No short-cuts, no beating around the bush. Let's get things straight.

I just had an A Maths today. There were a few qns that I didn't knew how to do. Binomial questions were easy. Yeah right. I actually took a wrong step and ended up having another answer. The wrong one obviously. I cursed and cursed myself for doing it wrongly while my friend who was never right in studies got it right. Again, can I just say that I am really, super, fucking angry with myself. I could now use a string of colourful words but I don't want.

It was during SS period when I started feeling a lot weird. I stopped talking and joking around. I was so affected by this change of mood that I had to change my seat to a much more peaceful surroundings. But of course, who can I kid. The classroom was noisy as hell. So I found a seat right at the front...The guys and girls behind me are making as much noise as possible while I took some glances at the relief teacher. I saw Farhan sitting by himself, reading a book. That was surprising. Camillie and Yan Ting were doing SS homework as instructed by Mdm Yew.

Right after that, when I was having lunch with Xiang Chou and the rest, I didn't talk much either. I only asked Wei Ling to lend me 50 cents for a Mango drink. I went to the Band Room next. Syazwanie, Hasinah were sweeping the floor. Wei Jie was mopping at the other end while Fabian was around, waiting to have someone to tell him what to do. It wasn't pity that drove me to help them.

Others soon came. It was like a family reunion, except we were all doing spring cleaning in the band room. As we cleaned up the floor of the band room, we were also having fun too. Me, Shaun, James and Wei Jie started goofing around with a t-shirt and at each corners we pulled the shirt simutaneously, trying to rip it apart. Then Bao Shan came along with a pair of scissors and helped us cut the shirt into halves. It had a very nice feeling to this fun.

I went to Chem lesson held by the Meridian JC students. I didn't want to sit with my friends at all. All I wanted is to be left alone. I sat at the back of the class, examining the groups of students sitting together. I couldn't stand it anymore so I left the class. I made up an excuse, saying that there was no point staying if I don't have my books to study. But actually the reason was, I don't feel comfortable being there. It was like sitting with a bunch of strangers and you don't talk at all, not even a "Hi!".

So I went back to the Band Room and saw everybody there still cleaning and mopping. I felt comfortable and elated to see them because I was with the people I knew very well. It was like I was returning back home from school and everybody greets me warmly. It was really cool. Syazwanie and I talked about the Band. She said that she looks forward to Band Practices on Thursday and Friday because she felt the warmness that everybody gives her. I couldn't agree more.

The Band is a family, with people who truly care about you and love you. I know I told some people that Band does takes up time and sometimes I don't want to go. But the actual truth is: I do enjoy going to Band. Like Syazwanie said, there are always new and interesting things to do, talk and hear about. That's why whenever I go to Band and feeling discouraged about it, after the practice, words cannot express this kind of happiness. Maybe it's called Love.