pitched verbal comm

Lugubrious

Saturday, December 09, 2006

I can't smile much these days, I'm feeling sick all over, I've no mood to have fun and play. I kept too much things in my heart and it's so heavy that it can bring me down. I try to sweep my past under the carpet. The past keep holding back to me, clinged onto my foot like a metal ball attached to prisoners' foots. I can't get free and I can't keep on with the people moving further away with their life. As my mother used to tell me, you can't tell Time to wait for you because it has to move on.

My past was filled with little bits of sunshine shining through the small holes of the big darken and scary sky. The present I try to be happy, but what can I be happy about? I feel like there's no one there all the time whenever I need them. So sad, so depressed, what can I do? I've been stuck on the computer whereas Shaun has somebody to pursue and I'm really missing the good times I had with my friends. I miss Zheng Qian...I'm not gay by the way. I need find somebody to talk to, but that person isn't there! I tell Yan Zhen, I tell Su Juen, I tell Shaun, but these people isn't the right one, I can't understand, that's why I have lost hope in having friends but just have friends who you hook up with and then forget about them the next morning. Andrew, don't worry buddy, you won't be one of them. I've decided to take a vow of silence when school reopens, means I won't be talking anymore, so fucking sick that you people always ignored me. What have I done to receive this? I may not fucking popular like someone else but show me some attention, I can't live on just like this. I am who I am. I am just a normal boy, I do insane stuff because I'm curious, not because I'm an attention-seeker kid. Why

Maybe you people should study me like a book, an art of literature. I don't care anymore whatever you people do to me because from today onwards, it's either you screw me up or isolate me in a cell and don't come bother me unless it's something important.

See you guys later

Why do people like me and normal people don't get the spotlight? We're like the backstaggers, doing all the hard work and people like Paris Hilton gets the spotlight. Fuck them.